assume=ass out of you & me.

[mocking_people_of_walmart]

Oh sorry buddy, I didn’t know you were in such a hurry to go shopping for a new TV that you had to haul ass out of the trailer without a shirt or pair of shoes. I’m pretty sure Vizio decided to make more than one TV to sell, but what do I know, right?
Oklahoma

Clearly, good sir, you are mistaken. This man was lounging beside the pool on his 50 acre estate when he discovered that his dog's television broke. Never one to let poor Spike suffer, he immediately hauled ass to WalMart for a temporary replacement until he could buy a bigger TV from a better brand.

If you're wondering why his hired staff isn't at WalMart buying it, that's because they were cleaning up Spike's diarrheal explosion that he dragged through five rooms in the mansion. Poor thing goes crazy without his television.